Good-bye Good-bye

Since we are on the subject of goodbyes, I need to share another goodbye that I never got to post here, as I didn't want Gnosis to know.

Long ago, as a noob in SL, after meeting Gnosis, but before getting comfy inworld, I was strutting my stuff into the "xcite" store, to buy myself some parts. You see, I had decided, at that point, to do a little work as an escort and had been told that I needed xcite parts to do it. (Part of my goal with Second Life was and is to make my way without spending any of my own RL money, that is an important element in the challenge of it for me).

As I neared the door, I was accosted, literally, by a handsome blond avatar, who was very forward as to what he wanted to do with me. I had some free time and was in an adventurous mood, so after perusing the offerings at "xcite" I accepted Ferd's invitation to his island.

Ferd lives on and island that could be the subject of its own blog, what with all the romance and drama that goes on there. What started as a one-time event in a pirate ship skybox turned into an occasional IM chat and visit. Ferd and I got along well.

Eventually, Ferd asked me to come to his island to make a girlfriend there jealous. I accepted the invitation again, and went with expectations of high drama. This never materialized, but launched a more intense relationship between us.

The thing about me in Second Life is that I have a very dark line drawn between RL and SL. I have no intention of mixing the two. I do not want to bring any relationships from SL into the RL. My life in SL is purely a virtual experience.

Ferd, lovely as he was, and amazing as he was, and rich as he was, couldn't leave my RL out. He constantly wanted more than I was willing to give him. He sent me pics, and I knew all about him. None of this decreased my interest or enjoyment of him. He however, always seemed dissatisfied by my refusal to disclose rl information about myself.

Ultimately, the passion between Ferd and me got heated enough that he gave me a choice: I leave off the rest of my SL relationships and be his full time island girl, or we would no longer have any contact with each other. Sadly, I chose to say goodbye to Ferd. I realized that there is no way I could accomplish the goals I had set for myself in SL while living exclusively on an inworld island with Ferd. I was very involved in my business venture and personal relationship with Gnosis. And I knew full-well how dangerous he was to my RL situation, with his attempts to cross that dark line between the two worlds. So, I said good bye. The power of the sadness I felt after doing this surprised me greatly. There were a couple of RL tears involved, and it took Lorelei days to recover. More learning and enlightenment about how powerful the emotional attachments in SL can become. Here is a shot of Ferd and me as we shared one last special and very sad dance. Goodbye Ferd. I still miss you. But I know we made the right decision. Hope you are doing well.